A Blog For Mums
Ask any mum which stage of babyhood was the hardest, and you’ll get a dozen different answers — all said with the same exhausted laugh. Because the truth is, every stage comes with its own brand of chaos. One month you’re crying over cluster feeds, and the next you’re trying to eat dinner with a teething baby glued to your hip.
Still, some stages push most mums to their limits. From sleep regressions to developmental leaps, a few particular windows seem to test even the calmest of parents. Here’s a look at why those stages feel so tough, and how each one manages to make you question your entire life plan before suddenly getting better again.
The first three months after birth aren’t really a “stage” so much as an endurance event. You’ve brought home a tiny person who can’t tell day from night, and your entire existence revolves around feeding, winding, and trying to work out if that noise was a sneeze or a cry.
The so-called “fourth trimester” is when your baby’s adjusting to life outside the womb — and you’re adjusting to never being able to just pop out again without military-level preparation. Hormones are crashing, your body’s recovering, and sleep is a distant memory.
What makes this phase so hard isn’t just the tiredness. It’s the uncertainty. Every cry feels like a test, and you’re constantly wondering if you’re doing it right. You’re keeping a small human alive on caffeine and adrenaline (you, not the baby), and while everyone says “sleep when the baby sleeps,” you’re too busy Googling whether hiccups are fatal.
The saving grace is that it doesn’t last forever. Most mums find things start to settle around the three-month mark, when feeding routines click into place and babies begin smiling — proof at last that you’re doing something right.
Just when you think you’ve got the hang of it, everything changes. Around four months, your baby’s sleep patterns mature, meaning they start cycling in and out of light and deep sleep like an adult. That’s great for their development — but terrible for your sanity.
This stage is famous for its unpredictability. Naps get shorter, night-wakings multiply, and any sense of routine goes out the window. You’ll spend half your time trying to get them down and the other half Googling “will my baby ever sleep again.”
It’s hard because it feels personal. You worked so hard to get here, and suddenly nothing works anymore. It’s also the point where many mums hit a wall — you’re still tired from the newborn months, and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to have gone out.
The best way through? Lower your expectations, accept help if it’s offered, and remember that regressions are actually progress in disguise. Your baby’s brain is developing at full speed — they’re just too busy mastering new skills to stay asleep.
Once babies start crawling and realising that you can, in fact, leave the room, the clinginess begins. Around eight to ten months, separation anxiety kicks in, and your once-independent explorer becomes your permanent shadow.
This is the stage where mums joke about never peeing alone again — and it’s not really a joke. You can’t walk into another room without a wail of protest, and even bedtime can turn into a battle. It’s not just physical exhaustion from carrying them everywhere; it’s emotional too. You feel guilty for wanting space, but you’re touched out and running on fumes.
At the same time, teething often ramps up around this age, adding a whole new level of misery. You’ll question if your baby’s possessed one minute and melt at their gummy grin the next. It’s a rollercoaster that leaves most parents equal parts in love and on edge.
The comfort is knowing it’s temporary. Once they realise you always come back, the separation panic fades, and you get glimpses of the little person they’re becoming — curious, funny, and starting to show that spark of personality that makes all the sleepless nights worthwhile.
If you thought babyhood was hard, wait until the toddler era begins. Around 18 months, independence takes over — and with it comes frustration, defiance, and some spectacular meltdowns.
This is the stage of “do it myself,” followed by tears when they can’t. It’s the constant push-pull of wanting to grow but not quite having the skills to cope. For mums, it’s exhausting on every level. You’re no longer dealing with a baby who cries because they need you, but a small person who argues about everything from shoes to snacks.
The physical toll is huge too. Toddlers are fast, fearless, and allergic to safety. Trips to the park turn into Olympic events, and you start calculating risk in every room of the house. Add in nap resistance and early wake-ups, and you’re back in a state of permanent tiredness — only now you’re chasing a tornado instead of cradling one.
What makes this stage particularly tough is the emotional whiplash. They’ll scream over the wrong colour cup, then give you an unprompted cuddle that melts your heart. You’ll go from despair to delight in seconds, wondering how such a tiny person can command so much of your energy and love all at once.
The hardest stages often overlap with big developmental leaps — times when your baby’s brain is working overtime. The Wonder Weeks theory explains that these leaps bring sudden changes in perception, awareness, and understanding, which can make babies clingier, fussier, or more restless.
In simple terms, every leap is your baby’s brain levelling up, but the process is messy. They’re overwhelmed, unsettled, and need constant reassurance. The same goes for sleep regressions, which are usually linked to milestones like rolling, crawling, or talking.
What makes them feel impossible isn’t just your baby’s behaviour; it’s the relentlessness. You don’t get a break to adjust before the next phase begins. Each stage demands something new from you — different patience, different routines, different energy. It’s no wonder mums often say the hardest part changes depending on which one they’re in.
Ask mums of older kids which stage was the hardest, and most will pause. Not because they can’t remember, but because in hindsight, every brutal phase eventually gave way to something better. The sleepless nights led to first words, the tantrums to independence, the clinginess to connection.
When you’re deep in the fog of a regression or knee-deep in toddler chaos, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing. But every hard stage is proof that both you and your baby are growing. You’re learning resilience, patience, and perspective — even if it doesn’t feel like it at 3 a.m.
One day, you’ll look back and realise those impossible days were the foundation for everything that came after. You’ll remember the tiny hand gripping yours, the sleepy snuggles after another rough night, and the relief when things finally clicked again.
No stage is easy, but each one shapes you into the kind of mum who can handle whatever comes next. And that’s the quiet truth no one tells you — every time it gets harder, you’re getting stronger too.
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