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Marriage or Civil Partnership: A Parent’s Guide to Making it Official

Marriage vs Civil Partnership

When my partner and I first started talking about making things official, I naively thought it was a straight choice: get married or don’t. I hadn’t given civil partnerships much thought. Weren’t they just for same-sex couples before marriage equality came in?

But as we looked into it, we realised there’s a bit more to it — and that we actually had a choice to make.

So if you’re wondering about the difference between marriage and civil partnership, you’re not alone. And if you’re not even sure which one suits you better — especially if you’ve already got kids together — this is for you.

So, What is a Civil Partnership?

A civil partnership is a legal relationship you can register with your partner — very similar to marriage in terms of rights and responsibilities. Originally introduced in 2004 for same-sex couples who couldn’t legally marry at the time, it’s now available to all couples, regardless of gender, after a change in the law in 2019.

The main appeal? It offers many of the same legal protections as marriage — but without the traditions or religious associations that can come with tying the knot.

For those of us already knee-deep in nappies and school runs, a civil partnership can feel like a way of making things official without throwing a big wedding into the chaos of family life. It’s quick, it’s legal, and it gives your kids the security of knowing their parents are a unit.

Key Differences in Ceremony and Procedure

One of the most noticeable differences is how each is formed.

  • Marriage involves a ceremony. Whether that’s in a registry office, a church, or a castle in the Lake District, you’ll need vows and witnesses. There’s a bit of theatre to it — and for a lot of people, that’s half the joy.
  • Civil partnership doesn’t legally require a ceremony at all. You can simply sign a document at a registry office. No vows, no rings, no dramatic “you may now kiss” moment (unless you want to add that in yourself). It’s a quieter, simpler affair.

This can be especially appealing if you’ve got little ones. Trying to plan a wedding while juggling nursery drop-offs and teething isn’t for everyone. A civil partnership lets you make that commitment with minimal fuss — and potentially less expense, too.

There’s also a slight difference in language. In marriage, you’re declared “husband and wife” or “spouses.” In civil partnerships, the law simply refers to you as “civil partners.” Some kids might one day ask why mummy and daddy aren’t “married” — but that opens the door to a brilliant conversation about different kinds of families and relationships.

Legal Differences (they’re surprisingly small)

Will and Inheritance

From a legal standpoint, civil partnerships and marriages in the UK are almost identical. Both give you the same rights when it comes to:

  • Inheritance – including exemption from inheritance tax
  • Parental responsibility (if you’re the biological or legal parent)
  • Next of kin rights – in hospitals or for making decisions on your partner’s behalf
  • Pensions and benefits – treated the same in most schemes
  • Immigration rights – no difference here either

So from a parenting point of view, both offer the same legal protections for your family. Whether you’re married or in a civil partnership, your partner will be your next of kin. That can be crucial if one of you ends up in hospital or there are decisions to be made about your child’s care in an emergency.

There are, however, a few subtle differences:

  • Adultery isn’t a legal ground for dissolving a civil partnership. In a marriage, adultery (defined as sex with someone of the opposite sex) can be grounds for divorce. In a civil partnership, if your partner cheats, you’d need to cite “unreasonable behaviour” instead.
  • Religious organisations aren’t obliged to perform civil partnerships, whereas they can conduct marriages if they choose to.
  • Certificates look different. A marriage certificate records the names of the fathers of the couple (though this is changing), while a civil partnership certificate lists both parents’ names. It’s a small detail, but some mums appreciate the shift toward equality in the paperwork — especially if you’re raising children in a household where roles don’t follow traditional gender lines.

Why Choose One Over the Other?

This is where things get personal. For some people, marriage feels too steeped in tradition or religion. It can carry connotations of ownership or outdated gender roles. Choosing a civil partnership can feel like a statement — one that says: we want equality, not ceremony.

On the other hand, some people love the symbolism and ritual of marriage. The vows, the wedding dress, the party — it can feel like a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, and they want every bit of it.

You might choose a civil partnership if:

  • You want the legal protection without the wedding fuss
  • You’re not keen on the historical baggage of marriage
  • You’re a same-sex couple and don’t feel a connection to traditional marriage
  • You want to be seen as equals with no gendered assumptions
  • You’re parents and need a simple, affordable way to secure legal rights for your family

Or you might go for marriage because:

  • You’ve always dreamed of a big wedding
  • You want to call your partner your husband or wife
  • You’re religious or your family is, and marriage feels meaningful
  • You like the idea of publicly declaring your love and commitment in front of your kids

One of my friends, who had two children before ever considering “getting hitched,” said they only decided to marry because their five-year-old asked, “Are you and Daddy best friends or married?” It hit them that, for their kids, marriage still had a sort of magic — so they went for a registry office wedding followed by soft play and sausage rolls.

What About Separation?

Couple Arguing

If your relationship ends, the legal process is very similar. You divorce a marriage and dissolve a civil partnership. Since the introduction of no-fault divorce in 2022, both options allow for a clean break without needing to prove fault.

The protection this gives children is the same in both cases. Your parental rights and responsibilities don’t change, and the focus — legally and emotionally — should be on the welfare of your children, not the label on your relationship.

It’s a Personal Choice

At the end of the day, whether you choose marriage or civil partnership comes down to what feels right for you — and your family. Legally, you’re just as protected. But practically and emotionally, the experience is different.

If you’re already parents, the key thing is that both options give your children the stability and clarity of a legally recognised family unit. That alone can bring peace of mind — especially in moments when life throws its inevitable curveballs.

You don’t need a big white wedding or a label to be a strong, loving family. But if choosing one of these options helps make life a bit more secure for your partner, your kids, and yourself — that’s worth thinking about. Even if your “reception” ends up being a car picnic with a bottle of Fanta and a baby napping in the back seat.